Friday, November 2, 2007
Just a Number
I weighed myself this morning. I had been thinking about it doing it for a few days. I wonder, do only fat people have that much aversion to the scale? For much of my life that little machine has wielded so much power over me, instantly ruining a otherwise pleasant day or on rarer occasions caused cheers when it read as little as half a pound less than the day before. I finally figured I should at least know what I'm dealing with. The number appears on the digital display, it was about what I expected but I couldn't help having a still somewhat emotional reaction to it. Most of us who have struggled with our weight know it well: a little shock, disappointment, and perhaps even a twinge of fear. So, how can just a number get such an emotionally charged reaction, even when it's within the realm of expectation? Why is so much value placed on it? It certainly isn't a measure of our worth, ability, intelligence, or anything else that should matter. In this journey of fat acceptance does that little number on digital display above my toes ever become a number just as emotionally inconsequential as any other?