Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Bulging Brides

As usual I'm behind the times with the coming rant. I had the misfortune of catching my first (and I'm sure only) episode of Bulging Brides. It was an accident as I was finally packing away the last of the Christmas decorations (as I said, behind) and the TV happened to be on. I was mid project and therefore unable to change the channel immediately. It's fairly rare I watch much on accident as we have DVR service with memory that is perpetually full, risking losing the shows I actually do want to watch.

Of course much of Bulging Brides is typical shame the fat people reality show tripe: bride buying a way too tight dress to use as "motivation", screaming trainer, condescending and judgemental nutritionist, blah, blah. To me the worst bit is when the trainer called the bride's workout an "infidelity inhibitor". Yeah, like unless she kept it up she deserved to be cheated on. Which by the way, didn't these grooms propose to these women just the way they are? Aren't they good enough to wed as is? Shouldn't we make sure these men get a mental evaluation because quite obviously they must be abnormal for desiring these woman as is.

Like planning a wedding can't be stressful enough, like make sure crank it up about 100 notches and go on a weight loss show six weeks before. Lets make sure we turn into a crazed, starving bridezilla that no way on earth most people would find attractive. Trust me, few if any people are going to be admiring the fact you starved yourself into a size four rather than your normal size six while you're walking down the aisle; they'll just have fond memories about what a royal B.I.T.C.H. you've been to them lately and try to stuff their true feelings down since it's you're "big day".

I'll also be glad when January is over and all the diet commercials resume to their normal, obnoxious levels.


Ms. Heathen said...

I've got a better "infidelity inhibitor", marry someone who respects you enough not to f**k around. But you know, that's just crazy feminism talking.

I don't really understand this trend. If you're spending x hundred dollars on a dress, shouldn't it fit you? And be flattering to the body you already have? It's like buying a car you're too tall for and expecting to shrink a few inches so you can drive cross country.

Some people apparently need change for the clue machine.

Gina said...

I'll bring you the brain bleach!

Blablover5 said...

It's amazing how many women as soon as the rock in on their finger think they just have to lose weight. Women freak out because they have to buy a dress early but they still have oh just those 10 pounds to go.

Or they keep putting off a fitting for fear that they'll waddle down the aisle. It's so sad really.

You have to check out Target Women for a funny take on Bulging Brides (and other wedding shows):